属相重要吗

我这星期有点烦。我把男朋友的属相告诉我妈以后，她就跟我爸小声商量，我猜他们是在查两个人的生肖合不合。

I've been a little annoyed this week. After I told my mom my boyfriend's zodiac animal, she and my dad started talking quietly to each other. I'm guessing they're checking whether the two of us are a compatible match by our zodiac signs.

这有什么好烦的，我爸妈当年也查过我跟对象的属相。你现在是生气呢，还是也挺好奇，他们最后会查出什么结果？

What's there to be annoyed about? My parents checked my zodiac animal against my partner's back in the day too. Are you actually angry right now, or are you also a little curious what they'll end up finding out?

说实话，两种感觉都有，我自己也有点迷惑。一边觉得他们管得太多，一边又真的想知道，如果查出来说不合，他们会不会因为这个不喜欢他。

Honestly, I feel both ways, and I'm a little confused about it myself. Part of me thinks they're being too controlling, and part of me genuinely wants to know, if it comes back saying we're not compatible, whether that would make them dislike him.

我理解你的心情。不过我觉得属相这件事，没有你想的那么严重，它更像是一种大家用来聊感情的语言，不是真的能决定两个人合不合适。

I get how you feel. But I don't think the zodiac thing is as serious as you're making it out to be. It's more like a language people use to talk about relationships, not something that actually decides whether two people are right for each other.

语言？生肖不就是十二种动物，按出生年份轮流排下来的一套顺序吗，鼠、牛、虎、兔、龙、蛇、马、羊、猴、鸡、狗、猪，跟语言有什么关系。

A language? Isn't the zodiac just twelve animals in a set order that rotates by birth year, rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, pig? What does that have to do with language?

你说的没错，生肖本身确实只是这十二种动物按顺序轮流排下来的，这个是事实，没什么好讨论的。可老一辈聊属相合不合，其实是在用这套符号说别的事情，你可以把它当成一种比喻，比如两个人性格合不合得来。

You're right about that. The zodiac itself really is just these twelve animals rotating in order, that's a fact, nothing to debate. But when the older generation talks about whether two zodiac signs match, they're actually using that set of symbols to talk about something else, you can think of it as a kind of metaphor, like whether two people's personalities get along.

这我倒没想过。你是说，他们不是真的相信，属兔的跟属马的结婚就一定会怎么样，而是借着属相，聊他们心里真正担心的事情？

I hadn't thought of it that way. So you're saying they don't actually believe that someone born in the year of the rabbit marrying someone born in the year of the horse definitely leads to some fixed outcome, and that they're using the zodiac as a way to talk about what they're really worried about?

差不多是这个意思。长辈很难直接问你俩性格合得来吗，这句话太直接，也不容易回答。可换成你俩属相合不合，大家都懂这是在聊什么，也有一套现成的说法能讲，聊起来就容易多了。

Pretty much. It's hard for an elder to ask directly, do you two get along personality-wise, that question is too blunt and hard to answer. But if they ask instead whether your zodiac signs match, everyone understands what's really being discussed, and there's a whole ready-made way of talking about it, which makes the conversation much easier.

听你这么一说，倒有点像西方人看星座。两个人处对象，也常有人问星座合不合，其实也是借着星座聊性格，聊两个人合不合得来。

Now that you put it that way, it sounds a bit like Westerners and horoscopes. When two people are dating, people often ask whether their star signs match too, and that's really also a way of using the horoscope to talk about personality, about whether two people get along.

对，我觉得这两件事很像，都是借一套大家都懂的符号，去谈本来不容易说清楚的东西。区别可能是，属相在中国流传的时间更长，也更多长辈真的会当回事。

Right, I think the two things are quite similar, both borrow a set of symbols everyone understands to talk about things that are otherwise hard to put into words. The difference might be that the zodiac has been around in China for a lot longer, and more elders really do take it seriously.

那你自己信不信这个？如果按老一辈的说法，你的属相跟对象的属相不合，你会不会真的担心？

So do you personally believe in it? If, according to what the older generation says, your zodiac sign and your partner's zodiac sign don't match, would you actually worry about it?

我不是完全不信，也不会真的当真。属相没有科学依据能证明它决定两个人合不合适，可它也不是完全没有用，至少能让两代人有话可聊。我爸妈那一代很讲究这个，我们直接说不信，他们会觉得我们不尊重传统。

I don't completely disbelieve it, but I don't take it fully seriously either. There's no scientific basis proving the zodiac decides whether two people are compatible, but it isn't completely useless either, at the very least it gives two generations something to talk about. My parents' generation cares a lot about this, and if we just flatly say we don't believe it, they'll feel like we're not respecting tradition.

所以你的意思是，属相说的不是真能算出来的命运，是大家一起用的一种说法？

So what you're saying is, the zodiac isn't describing some fate that can actually be calculated, it's a shared way of talking that everyone uses?

对，我是这么理解的。它既不是完全没有道理的迷信，也不是真能决定什么。它更像一种老办法，用来聊两个人合不合适，可以参考，但不用太当真。

Right, that's how I understand it. It's neither a superstition with no basis at all, nor something that can truly determine anything. It's more like an old method for talking about whether two people suit each other, you can take it as a reference, but you don't need to take it too seriously.

我可以接受它是一种大家都懂的说法。但如果我妈真的查出来，说我俩不合，还因此不喜欢他，我不会让属相替我决定。

I can accept that it's a shared way of talking that everyone understands. But if my mom really does find out that we're not a match and dislikes him because of it, I'm not going to let the zodiac make the decision for me.

这个我同意，属相能当聊天的语言，不能当决定的理由。不过你也别太急，很多父母查完以后，只要看孩子真的喜欢，最后也没有真的拦着。

I agree with that, the zodiac can be a language for conversation, but it shouldn't be the reason for a decision. Still, don't get too worked up, a lot of parents, after checking, once they see their kid really likes the person, don't actually stand in the way in the end.