算法选的对象

我跟你说一件事，你先别笑。我上个月在一个交友软件上认识了一个人，现在我们每天都联系。

Let me tell you something, and don't laugh. Last month I met someone on a dating app, and now we talk every day.

我为什么要笑？现在很多人都是这样认识的。你们是怎么认识的？

Why would I laugh? Lots of people meet that way now. How did you two meet?

是那个软件用算法给我们匹配的。它看了我们两个人的数据，说我们的匹配度是百分之九十五。

The app matched us with its algorithm. It looked at our data and said our match score was ninety-five percent.

数据？什么样的数据？

Data? What kind of data?

很多。我们几点睡觉，几点起床，喜欢什么电影，什么音乐，连回消息的速度都差不多。我以前从来没遇到过这么合适的人，算法好像比我自己更了解我。

All kinds. When we go to sleep, when we get up, what movies we like, what music, even how fast we reply to messages. I've never met anyone who fit me this well before. The algorithm seems to know me better than I do.

听起来很科学。可是我总觉得少了点什么。你知道我和小云是怎么认识的吧？

Sounds very scientific. But I keep feeling something is missing. You know how Xiaoyun and I met, right?

知道，在车站，你们等同一辆车，那天下大雨。这个故事你已经讲过十遍了。

I know. At the bus stop, waiting for the same bus, in heavy rain. You've told that story ten times already.

因为那就是缘分啊。那天我要是没去等车，我们这一辈子都不会认识。这种感觉，算法给不了你。

Because that's fate. If I hadn't gone to wait for the bus that day, we would never have met in this lifetime. That feeling is something an algorithm can't give you.

那我问你一个问题。我们说的缘分，是不是就是我们给运气起的一个好听的名字？算法做的事情其实差不多，它只是让合适的人更容易遇到。

Then let me ask you a question. This fate we talk about, isn't it just a nicer name we give to luck? The algorithm does pretty much the same thing. It just makes it easier for the right people to meet.

我觉得不一样。你们是被数据选出来的，我们是自己碰上的。一个是计算的结果，一个是生活给的惊喜。要是什么都能算出来，遇到一个人就没有惊喜了。

I think it's different. The two of you were picked out by data; the two of us ran into each other. One is the result of a calculation, the other is a surprise life hands you. If everything can be computed, meeting someone has no surprise left in it.

我承认，你们的故事讲出来更好听。我的故事就是一句话：一个软件觉得我们合适。确实少了一点惊喜。

I admit your story sounds better when you tell it. My story is one sentence: an app thought we fit. It really is short on surprise.

对吧？我就是这个意思。

Right? That's exactly what I mean.

可是你想过没有，靠运气认识的人，大部分其实并不合适。车站上每天有那么多人，你们两个人合适，是你运气好。还有很多人等了很多年，什么缘分都没等到。算法至少让人少等几年。

But have you thought about this: most people you meet by luck actually don't fit you. So many people pass through that bus stop every day. You two fitting is you being lucky. Plenty of people wait for years and no fate ever shows up. The algorithm at least saves people a few years of waiting.

这一点我承认。说实话，数据说的那些事情是真的重要。我和小云刚在一起的时候，为了睡觉的时间吵了好几年。她睡得早，我睡得晚。这种事，车站可看不出来。

That point I'll admit. Honestly, the things the data measures really do matter. When Xiaoyun and I first got together, we fought about bedtime for years. She sleeps early, I sleep late. A bus stop can't show you that.

你看，要是先匹配一下，你们就少吵几年。

See? If you'd been matched first, you'd have saved yourselves a few years of fighting.

也许吧。可是吵完那几年，我们才真正了解了对方。我还是觉得，来得太容易的合适，人可能不会珍惜。

Maybe. But it was after those years of fighting that we truly understood each other. I still think that when the fit comes too easily, people may not treasure it.

这话有道理。其实我也有一点担心。我们是匹配出来的，一开始就太顺利了。我有时候会想，他喜欢的是我，还是数据里的我。

That's fair. Actually I do have one worry. We were matched, and it's been smooth from day one. Sometimes I wonder: does he like me, or the me in the data?

这个问题，算法可回答不了。

Now that question, the algorithm can't answer.

所以我打算下个星期带他去见见朋友，看看他在真实的生活里是什么样子。数据说我们合适，剩下的要我们自己去证明。

So next week I plan to bring him to meet my friends, and see what he's like in real life. The data says we fit. The rest is on us to prove.

这样想就对了。缘分也好，算法也好，认识只是个开始，后面的路都要两个人自己走。

That's the right way to look at it. Fate or algorithm, meeting is only the start. The road after that, the two of you have to walk yourselves.