词典说不出来的那部分

艾米，我上星期开会的时候用错了一个词，会议室突然安静下来，没有人说话，老板的表情也变了。

Amy, last week in a meeting I used the wrong word. The meeting room suddenly went quiet, nobody spoke, and even the boss's expression changed.

真的吗？你们开会说的是中文吧？你用了什么词，让大家都不说话了？

Really? You were speaking Chinese in the meeting, right? What word did you use that made everyone stop talking?

对，是中文。我们公司已经决定了这个月的市场计划，我只是想加一个小建议，就说我有意见。我说完，会议室就安静了。

Yes, Chinese. Our company had already decided on this month's market plan. I just wanted to add one small suggestion, so I said I have an opinion. As soon as I finished, the room went quiet.

意见不就是看法的意思吗？词典里就是这么写的，你说的没有错啊。你是不是想太多了？

Isn't opinion just the same as view? The dictionary says exactly that. What you said wasn't wrong. Are you overthinking this?

词典没有说错，意见确实是看法的意思。但是中国同事听到我有意见，第一反应常常是他不同意，他想反对，很少会想到他只是有一个新的看法。

The dictionary isn't wrong, opinion really does mean view. But when Chinese colleagues hear I have an opinion, their first reaction is usually that he disagrees, that he wants to object. They rarely think he just has a new view to add.

可是这也可能是场合的问题，跟词典没关系吧？公司已经决定的事情，你突然说你有意见，换成英文，老板也会觉得奇怪。是不是每个语言都一样，不只是中文？

But couldn't this just be a matter of the situation, and have nothing to do with the dictionary? If the company already decided something and you suddenly say I have an opinion, the boss would find that strange in English too. Isn't this the same in every language, not just Chinese?

你说得对，这样的事情在哪个语言都可能发生。但是英语我从小就会说，这种场合，用这种语气，能不能说我有意见，我不用想就知道。中文是我后来学的，这种感觉我没有，词典也不会告诉我。

You're right, this kind of thing can happen in any language. But I've spoken English since I was a child. In this kind of situation, with this kind of tone, whether I can say I have an opinion, I know without even thinking. Chinese is something I learned later. I don't have that feeling for it, and the dictionary won't give it to me either.

可是词典不可能把每一句话、每一个场合都写清楚吧？那要写多厚啊？

But a dictionary can't possibly spell out every sentence, every situation, can it? How thick would it have to be?

对，词典写不完，这就是我想说的。词典能告诉你意思，但是告诉不了你语气，也告诉不了你分寸，就是这句话能说到什么程度，在哪个场合说，说给谁听。

Right, a dictionary can never finish, that's exactly my point. A dictionary can tell you the meaning, but it can't tell you the tone, and it can't tell you the sense of the right degree, meaning how far you can take a sentence, in what situation you say it, and who you're saying it to.

那分寸要怎么学？没有词典，你怎么知道，什么时候能说，什么时候不能说？

So how do you learn that sense of the right degree? Without a dictionary, how do you know when you can say something and when you can't?

只能多听，多看别人怎么说话。这次开会以后，我特别注意，同事在不同场合，用什么语气说话，什么时候用意见，什么时候用建议。

You can only listen a lot, and watch how other people talk. Since that meeting, I've paid special attention to what tone my colleagues use in different situations, and when they use opinion versus when they use suggestion.

可是这样学是不是太慢了？我们说中文已经很紧张了，还要注意语气，注意分寸，那我以后还敢不敢说话？

But isn't learning that way too slow? We're already nervous enough speaking Chinese, and now we also have to pay attention to tone and to the right degree. Will I still dare to speak at all after this?

我也是说错了才知道的，不是提前都懂的。词典能让你敢说出第一句话，分寸是以后慢慢学的。那天会议室突然安静的样子，我现在还记得，但是我不后悔说了那句话。

I only learned it by getting it wrong myself, I didn't understand it all beforehand. A dictionary is what gives you the courage to say your first sentence. The sense of the right degree is something you learn slowly, afterward. I still remember what the meeting room looked like when it suddenly went quiet, but I don't regret saying that sentence.

好吧，我明白你的意思了。不过我还是觉得，词典没有错，只是它不能替你去开会。

All right, I understand what you mean now. But I still think the dictionary wasn't wrong, it just can't go to the meeting for you.

对，词典不会去开会，但是我们会。你下次开会，要不要也试着说说你的意见？

Right, the dictionary won't go to the meeting, but we will. Next time you're in a meeting, do you want to try voicing your own opinion too?