你吃了吗

王芳，我想问你一个问题。我的房东，每天看见我都说“你吃了吗”，我住在这里三个月了，她天天问，一次也没有停止过。

Wang Fang, I want to ask you something. My landlady says have you eaten every single day when she sees me. I have lived here three months and she has never once stopped asking.

你的房东，为什么每天都要问这个问题？她问的时候，看起来像是很想知道答案吗？

Why does your landlady ask that every day? When she asks, does she look like she really wants to know the answer?

不像。上个星期，她又问了，我认真回答：“我吃了面条，还吃了一个鸡蛋。”她听完只是笑了笑，也不再问了，好像不是真正想知道我吃了什么。

She does not. Last week she asked again, and I answered carefully: I ate noodles, and I also ate an egg. She just smiled after hearing that and did not ask anything more, as if she did not really want to know what I ate at all.

我明白了。她说的“你吃了吗”，其实不是一个真正的问题，是一种问候，跟你说“你好吗”的意思差不多。

I understand now. Her have you eaten is not really a question at all. It is a greeting, close in meaning to saying how are you.

那为什么问的是吃饭，不是问天气，也不是问工作？

Then why food, and not the weather, and not work?

这跟历史有关系。过去，很多年以前，吃饱饭不是一件容易的事情，很多人经常吃不饱。所以那时候问别人“你吃了吗”，其实是关心他过得好不好。这个习惯留到了现在，特别是对长辈来说，问“你吃了吗”，就是问候，就是关心你这个人。

It is related to history. In the past, many years ago, eating your fill was not an easy thing, and a lot of people often went hungry. So back then, asking someone have you eaten was really asking whether they were all right. That habit has lasted until now. Especially for older people, asking have you eaten is the greeting. It is how they show they care about you as a person.

对了，上个星期，我的房东还给了我一大碗饺子，说是她自己包的。这也是问候的意思吗？

Actually, last week my landlady also gave me a big bowl of dumplings, and said she had made them herself. Is that the same kind of greeting too?

当然是。对很多长辈来说，做饭、包饺子，比说话更能表示关心。她很少说“我关心你”，但是愿意花时间给你包一碗饺子，这就是她的问候，你明白了吗？

Of course it is. For a lot of older people, cooking and making dumplings shows care better than talking does. She rarely says I care about you, but she is willing to spend her time making you a bowl of dumplings, and that is her greeting. Do you see now?

我明白了。那我以后不应该像考试一样，认真回答她今天吃了什么，对不对？跟长辈说话，是不是都要记住这一点？

I see. So from now on I should not answer her like it is an exam, carefully reporting what I ate today, right? Is that something to remember when talking with older people in general?

很简单。她问你吃了吗，你就说“吃了，谢谢您”，或者“还没吃，我马上去吃”。最后，你可以问问她，“您吃了吗？”这样，你们两个人就都被问候了。

It is simple. When she asks if you have eaten, just say I have, thank you, or I have not, I am about to go eat. Then, at the end, you can ask her back, have you eaten? That way you have both been greeted.

好，我明天就试试。

All right, I will try it tomorrow.

你吃了吗？

Have you eaten?

吃了，谢谢您关心，今天中午吃的面条。您吃了吗？

I have, thank you for asking. I had noodles for lunch today. Have you eaten?

吃了，吃了。你要不要再来一碗饺子？我今天包多了，一个人吃不完。

I have, I have. Would you like another bowl of dumplings? I made too many today, and I cannot finish them by myself.

王芳，你说得对。现在，她见到我，比以前更热情了，还经常留我一起吃饭。

Wang Fang, you were right. Now, when she sees me, she is warmer than before, and she often keeps me back to eat with her.

这就是最好的问候。你现在真的成为了这个家的一部分。

That is the best kind of greeting. You have really become part of this family now.