你不能拒绝的敬酒

王姐，今天晚上吃饭，客户和经理一直给我敬酒，我说自己喝得不多，但是他们还是要我喝，我真的觉得压力很大。

Wang Jie, at dinner tonight the client and the manager kept toasting me. I said I don't drink much, but they still made me drink. I really feel a lot of pressure.

我懂那种感觉。我第一次跟客户吃饭的时候，也是一杯又一杯。你知道为什么大家先给你敬酒吗？

I know that feeling. The first time I had dinner with a client, it was glass after glass for me too. Do you know why everyone toasted you first?

不知道，是不是因为我最年轻，大家想看看我能喝多少？

No idea. Is it because I'm the youngest, and everyone wants to see how much I can drink?

也不完全是这样。这是一种传统：经验少的人往往要先给经验多的人敬酒，客户是最重要的客人，所以大家会先给客户敬酒。你是新人，经验最少，所以大家也想多给你敬酒，看看你的态度。

Not entirely. It's a kind of tradition: the person with less experience usually toasts the person with more experience first. The client is the most important guest, so everyone toasts the client first. You're new, with the least experience, so everyone also wants to toast you more, to see your attitude.

那如果我真的不想喝呢？我可以直接拒绝吗？

But what if I really don't want to drink? Can I just refuse directly?

可以说，但是很少有人真的拒绝。敬酒不只是喝酒，也是想让客户相信我们做事认真，尊重他们。你拒绝的时候，客户可能会觉得你不够尊重他。

You can say so, but very few people actually refuse. Toasting isn't only about drinking. It's also about making the client believe we take the work seriously and respect them. When you refuse, the client might feel you don't respect him enough.

我觉得，这样对新人来说，其实挺难受的。为什么经验少就要多喝？我的身体也需要休息。

I think that's actually pretty hard on someone new. Why should less experience mean more drinking? My body needs rest too.

你说得对，这确实是传统里比较难受的一部分。以前大家都觉得，敬酒喝得多，就是对工作认真，对同事和客户也尊重。但是这几年，很多年轻同事开始不同意，会直接说自己不能喝。

You're right, that's honestly one of the harder parts of the tradition. In the past everyone felt that drinking a lot at toasts showed you took the job seriously and respected your coworkers and clients. But in the last few years, a lot of younger coworkers have started to disagree, and will just say directly that they can't drink.

真的吗？公司允许吗？

Really? Does the company allow that?

公司当然不会写在规定里，但是经理现在也不会一直让你喝了。文化真的在改变，越来越多的年轻人拒绝喝酒，公司也逐渐习惯了。

Of course the company won't put it in writing, but managers these days won't keep pushing you to drink either. The culture is genuinely changing. More and more young people refuse to drink, and the company has gradually gotten used to it.

所以以后可能不用喝那么多了？

So maybe I won't have to drink that much in the future?

我觉得会越来越好，但是现在还没有完全改变。有的经理还是希望你喝，有的客户还是很相信这个传统。你自己也要学会说不，还要让别人觉得你尊重他们。

I think it'll keep getting better, but it hasn't fully changed yet. Some managers still want you to drink, and some clients still believe strongly in this tradition. You have to learn to say no yourself, and still make people feel you respect them.

这确实不容易。谢谢你告诉我这些，我下次会试着说清楚，但是也会小心一点。

That's genuinely not easy. Thanks for telling me all this. Next time I'll try to say it clearly, but I'll also be careful.

好，慢慢来，不用一次就都想清楚。这个传统还在变，我们也都还在学怎么接受新的情况。

Okay, take your time, you don't have to figure it all out at once. This tradition is still changing, and we're all still learning how to accept the new situation.